Another take on last night's outstanding performance art piece:

Rumors have been circulating for weeks that the infectious feelgood spirit of Bikesummer has encouraged heretofore recalcitrant San Francisco government bureaucrats to finally emerge from the shadows of obstruction to take some bold steps to help lead this once great city back towards the path of virtue. One story that's been making the rounds is that a few workers at the SF Department of Parkmore and Totalgridlock (DPT) took it upon themselves to support Bikesummer by installing a critical bicycle lane on a few blocks of Fell Street. This was done, we are told, to help promote safe passage though the mean streets of San Francisco for bicyclists, the only group of SF residents promoting actual solutions to the transportation mess our city leaders have created.

Another story circulating during the Bikesummer lovefest is that a group of oil company executives had been feeling pangs of collective guilt because their industry has never been asked to pay for any of the costs of the massive military budget needed to secure the steady supply of cheap oil to ensure their outsized profits. Executives from three different oil companies, bless their hearts, took it upon themselves to roll back gas prices to levels not seen since the 1950's. Alas, their offer lasted only a few hours one Saturday morning, but it was a watershed moment from a group previously not willing to consider a new way of thinking. As evidence of the boldness of these executives' action, we understand the US antitrust office has began an investigation since this collusive effort to roll back prices could have a detrimental effect on the tax revenues of the federal government.

Price decreases would have devastating effects on the US economy, including the reduction of hours US wage slaves would need to work to pay for the same level of goods and services. This would cause US tax revenues to plummet (as most of us know, workers pay almost all federal and state taxes, in contrast to the tax burden of landlords and capitalists who round out the three economic players - land, labor and capital). Falling tax revenues would cause some government workers to lose their jobs and US support for many dictatorships around the world might have to be abandoned.

Many of us cynics dismissed the Fell Steet bike lane and gas price reduction stories as likely coming from a few bicyclists that had perhaps inhaled a bit too much car exhaust. Therefore, imagine our surprise last evening (August 26th) while riding through Golden Gate Park after the inspirational TIMES UP! presentation, when someone staged a carbeque to try to prove to us that our skeptical and negative thinking needed to be reevaluated. The message seemed to be, 'Bikesummer is different' and old and tired thought and behavior patterns needed to be abandoned once and for all.

The carbeque staging was perfect. A stop sign and bicycle route sign had been mowed over in the most wildlife intensive section of the park. Deep tire tracks scarred the earth. The wayward pre-SUV model car (an oversized station wagon) was buried in the bushes far from the road, and a shaken driver was revving his engine faster and faster while the transmission was stuck in neutral. This part was an especially poignant piece of the street theatre performance as it reminded the observer of the misguided city policies towards transportation: more and more money solely devoted to cars and parking with the result that it takes longer than ever to get anywhere in the city by either public transportation or by car.

The overheated engine began to smoke and, magically, before our eyes, a fire began under the car - the carbeque had begun. We hurriedly looked for a "one less car" sticker to place on the car window (a small detail apparently missed by the docudrama stage performers) before the 'burning car' met its final demise to cheers all around, but our search efforts failed.

A couple of the bicyclists, responding to the realistic nature of the performance piece, rushed to the car and coaxed the driver from the car. A passing car driver was thrilled to be able to finally use their fire extinguisher they had been carrying around all these years and began to douse the 'burning car'. We weren't sure if he was part of the staged drama or a random response to the emotionally moving art piece.

The local police and fire battalions finally arrived. They played their parts realistically enough, although the fact that the SFPD immediately put bracelets on the driver without even going through the motions of a sobriety test or a basic Miranda warning tipped us off that some of the performers were amateurs. Part of these miscues were easily overlooked, however, due to the strong performance of the driver, who didn't utter more than one incoherent word at a time and who expertly kept listlessly shaking his head as if to determine if he had any brain cells remaining. He totally stayed in character even after someone suggested he might want to go find a place to lie down for a few hours. He instinctively knew that his role was to ride in the cruiser and to visit the 'Greybar Inn' (thanks Susan) for a few hours. It was such a strong performance we can only hope he retires from the role and finds other challenges in life.

As expertly planned and executed as this artistic piece was pulled off, I'm still a skeptic and cynic by nature. But this entire month of Bikesummer events, actions, discussions and great rides has caused a little reevaluation. I think I've finally observed some people who really might be able to move mountains and even cause changes in society's thinking and behavior, an even more arduous task. May these velorutionaries lead long and productive lives.

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